Hm. Where to begin. So, we have only owned our house since the 2nd. We have only been staying there since, um, maybe the 10th? In 20 days of ownership we have had:

1.) Two attempted, but inevitably cancelled, large item moving days.

2.) I forgot to have our water turned on over a holiday weekend, so we were without water for 6 days (luckily still sleeping at other house).

3.) I made 7 phone calls to AT & T about my internet service, none of which were fruitful, because; neither of our cell phones works reliably inside the house (I had to lean up against the window with them on speakerphone, which is tons of fun when you are talking to another country!) and the calls were inevitably all dropped. I finally talked to a girl from my work phone during the day and she was all "Sure, you can take care of all your registration from your work computer! No problem, do this!" And I was all "Grrrrr... How come none of you fuckers told me that during the last 6 calls! Arg!"

4.) The sink in the kitchen clogged up. After 12 hours, a half-day vacation, a borrowed power washer, a borrowed cutter(an orange hosey-thing to attach to the power washer), and 12,000 gallons of black, rusty, 60-year-old cast-iron pipe and food goop (yum!), Mister finally located the culprit. 60 years worth of S.O.S. pad build-up. I don't say it enough, but I love my fiance!

5.)The toilet in the master bath would not stop running every three minutes, no matter what we tried, so Mr. took it apart.

It has looked like this for 5 days now, because it is so old you cannot buy parts for it. Good thing my man is a jimmy-rigging expert! It has taken five trips to the hardware store, but he thinks today's purchase will fix the problem. (Fingers crossed.) Oh, and we can't just buy a new toilet, because the style equivalent is only available through Kohler and is $800.00. See that beautiful art deco tank? Apparently our old house is trendy!

6.) So while that toilet was out of commission we started using the other main floor bathroom, which is a half with wood floors and lovely plastic mint green swirly tile. Yay! Somehow in using this toilet, we upset the house and the floor in the basement began to leak under said bathroom. I went home at lunch yesterday because I left a window open and it was supposed to storm. I walk in to find the dog has broken free from her room and has eaten more boxes! And Mister's gum! So, I had to clean all that up and when I went to put her back in the room, I noticed a steady drip from the ceiling. I called Mr. and when he got home he went to work on yet another problem. This is what he found under the press board tiles.

Concrete!! And not like "Oh, our house was a slab and they decided to put a basement in" concrete. See those red things? Those are ceiling girders or whatever they call them. Why in the hell would you concrete in the ceiling? WHY??? Now I cannot have another phone jack upstairs. I cannot have grounded electric sockets. I cannot have plumbing that works!!!! Grrrrr again. So now he is going to have to rip out the lovely, plastic tile and go in from the wall of the bathroom. Oh well, gives me an excuse to rip it all out! One bleak ray of sunshine...

7.) We have to do our business in the basement bathroom which looks like this:

Yes, that is a urinal. In my house. This bathroom also has a walk-in shower. With a duck shower curtain. Not like cute little yellow rubber duckies(which my apt. bathroom was totally decked out in like 5 years ago, embarrassing? You decide.), but mallards, wood ducks, and something else. They are labeled. Learn while you pee!